Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
