its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pappa wants mamma naked
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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