so explain again why im purple
no
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
