It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize