I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
