And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
sarcasm needs its own font
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
