Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
