Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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