I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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