I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
