i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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