so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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