don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
