We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
