Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
