Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
