oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
