Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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