Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
