Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
