Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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