holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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