Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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