Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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