nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
