The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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