I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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