SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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