Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
