it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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