I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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