Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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