I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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