My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
