so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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