Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
