Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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