I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
