He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You are the jesus of drinking
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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