when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
