Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
