we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
