I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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