I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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