You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize