Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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