ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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