First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
