loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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