There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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