Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
