I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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