I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
