I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish i was in the wii world.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am available for nakedness
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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