i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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