I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
