nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
