wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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