Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
