i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
