wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
