Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize