There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize