they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
