He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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