So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have already put on my inside pants.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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